Here are nine true facts about me:

  1. My first car was a canary yellow, 1976 Volkswagen Beetle with a tape deck. (RIP, Elijah…)
  2. I’ve published two volumes of original poetry.
  3. A tiger once roared directly at me while I was wearing a tuxedo.
  4. I worked as a full-time rave promoter from 1999-2001.
  5. I saved a child’s life in Paris.
  6. I’ve been on the front page of Reddit.
  7. Once, with a casual, off-hand remark, I made an entire elevator full of SNL cast members laugh.
  8. I’ve run four marathons.
  9. I’ve won a CLIO, a PromaxBDA Gold, got nominated for an Emmy and, in 1990, I was a Nintendo Power World Championship quarter-finalist.